it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
