does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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