shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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