summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
