He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
