I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
