how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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