she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
