Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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