True but thats because hes a fetus.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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