I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
