he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
