forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
