I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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