Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
