He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
