bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
