ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
