lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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