I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Barsexuality is the new black.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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