I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
