soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
