hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
