Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
