I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
