worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
