He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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