you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Randomize
