the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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