i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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