Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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