i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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