he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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