I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
