i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
