Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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