ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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