windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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