so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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