I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
worst night to have a conscience
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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