If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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