His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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