belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
