if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
