Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
