btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
