dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
