that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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