i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
