How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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