i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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