We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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