i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just cropdusted the office
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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