i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
