Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
