my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
