It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
