mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
