i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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