I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
