The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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