Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
