this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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