Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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