i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
