How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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