Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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