He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
