The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
