clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
send nudes
from the living room?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
