Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
